[gläs, glaws] — NOUN 1. a commentary or interpretation 2. a brief explanation (as in the margin or between the lines of a text) of a difficult or obscure word or expression 3. the premier source for original content from the students of Northwestern Connecticut Community College.

This Rain [free will/ choices-now]

swirling

Some of these feel like they contain
More life than others, but I’m thinking these Now’s are each the same
In terms of the potential contained within.
The vacillating variable is me and what I allow to begin-
To blossom, grow, live, or otherwise- in me
Each moment brings with it the Infinite Gamble- everything except a guarantee.
To choose the open, the route of Life Allowing,
Or the closed breathing death is a choice made Now, not then
Or there or when this falls in line, or that,
Or him or her, or once I have enough or more of, or as soon as the ups and downs turn flat.
If my choice -to live, to love, to embrace, to abandon fear,
To allow the vulnerability that can seem terrifying- is not made here
And it is deferred until somewhere, some place, some time other,
I will eternally exist in the barely alive realm of the cowardly limited, never knowing or experiencing another-
A travesty that cannot, will not be averted by any external party or force for me, which
Like Everything that ever has been up to this point, brings me to This
Here.  This black ink spilling.  These letters and their combinations.
This westward-facing porch.  This late Spring rain- the drops nonverbal incantations
Each loaded with the chance to be magically utilized
By the living, the growing- to be transformed into that Life and that Growth.  Potential of a clump of oxygen and hydrogen realized.
The roots of these trees, this infant sunflower do not know how to not make the most of this rain-
They do not have the ability to take for granted such essential substances, banking on them coming again.
Just as nutrients cannot be taken up, intercepted by the root of a plant anywhere, any time other than Here, This storm,
I cannot absurdly assume I will live more fully when I arrive in some imaginary place or time that assumes a more favorable form
That does not exist, never did, never will; to operate under that guise
Is to waste life waiting to live- a sunflower putting off the uptake of water until AFTER it grows to a certain size….
The neglecting of Now absolutely precludes any possibility,
Which again, brings me to this, here- the rain has ceased, and I see clearly the tragic consequences of belief solely in eventuality.